How to Introduce Bondage to Your Relationship

A lot of the stigma about bondage has evaporated in recent years and there are many curious lovers looking for new ways to enjoy sexual experiences with their partners.

Bondage can be soft, sensual and romantic – as well as kinky and intensely thrilling. The simple act of restraining your lover offers new physical experiences and an intensified feeling of trust and closeness.

Bondage comes in many forms, from the elaborate, artful masterpieces of Shibari through to more simple but equally effective forms of blindfolding your boo and restraining their ankles and wrists.

Bring up the subject

Sure, surprises are fun and all, but just not when it comes to bondage… Being restrained can be triggering for some people, so it’s important to chat to your flame about both of your desires and limits first.

Discussing new ideas for the bedroom can be daunting and many people treat themselves to a bit of liquid courage before drunkenly making suggestions. While this approach may work for other sexual adventures, we suggest you steer clear of the booze when it comes to bondage as the two don’t mix. When restraints are involved, you’re not only responsible for your beau’s pleasure but their safety too.

Conversation starters

When speaking to your partner, be sure to ask open questions to gain insight into their point-of-view and their feelings about trying couples bondage for the first time:

I’ve got a fantasy where one of us is in charge during sex. What do you think?

How would you feel about playing with a blindfold when we go to bed?

How would you feel if we looked on Lovehoney for some handcuffs and things for the bedroom?

Talking through this kind of fantasy helps you to relate better as a couple and can also expand your own thoughts on the subject, explain your feelings, which allows them to empathize and even elaborate on your fantasy.

Keeping it real

If either of you are worried about the idea of incorporating bondage in your sex life, you shouldn’t be afraid to say so and explain why. Consider your reasons and openly discuss them with your partner.

You may find that, during discussion, you too become curious. But as with anything in a partnership, bondage is not for everyone.

“Bought this Bondage Boutique Temptation Soft Bondage Kit (2 Piece)as a first real buy for dom and sub play! We were not disappointed. My partner saw I’d got this and it was a turn-on before I’d even got it on!” – Missy28

You shouldn’t feel bad if you are not interested in bondage when your partner is, but equally understand that your partner’s desires are valid.

The right tools for the job

If you decide you might like to give bondage a go, it’s worth thinking about what exactly you would like to try before you invest in any bondage equipment, to make sure your purchases are matched to your needs.

Are you looking to enhance foreplay and sensory play?

Do you or your partner have a preference as to who should be tied up or do you want to take it in turns?

Are you happy being locked into restraints or do you want to be able to escape if you want to?

These are all questions that you should ask and consider before you go ahead with making any purchase choices.

First-time thrills

Once you’re fired-up, you’ll be ready to invest in your first bondage equipment.

Beginner-friendly wrist cuffs and a blindfold are ideal for your first time. Cuffs will allow you to experiment with restraint, and the blindfold will not only bring in an element of sensory play – it will also alleviate any butterflies you have about trying bondage for the first time.

‘’Me and my partner really enjoyed the surprise, and it was the best sex we had in a while. Has opened the door for us to talk more about bondage and fantasies we’ve had but been too afraid to bring up.” – Sthom

The great news is that bedroom bondage kits usually contain these staple items and are great value-for-money, allowing you to experiment with different toys without investing in a vast array of equipment.

Visit our Bondage for Beginners category to discover the best toys for first-time bondage.