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How to incorporate bonding into your relationship

In recent years, much of the stigma surrounding bondage has disappeared and many curious lovers are looking for new ways to enjoy sexual experiences with their partners.

Relationships can be tender, sensual and romantic, as well as naughty and very exciting. The simple act of restraining a lover provides new physical experiences and increases feelings of trust and closeness.

Tying can take many forms, from intricate, masterful Shibari masterpieces to the simpler but equally effective forms of blindfolding and ankle and wrist binding.

Raise a topic

Of course surprises are fun, but not when it comes to bonding... For some people, bonding can be anxiety-inducing, so it's important to first talk to your flame about the desires and boundaries you both have.

Discussing new ideas in the bedroom can be intimidating, which is why many people indulge in a little liquid courage before making suggestions. While this approach may work when it comes to other sexual adventures, we suggest avoiding alcohol when it comes to bonding as the two are incompatible. When restraints are used, you are not only responsible for your handsome man's pleasure but also for his safety.

The beginnings of conversations

When talking to your partner, be sure to ask open-ended questions to get his/her views and feelings about the first test of bonding:

I have a fantasy where one of us is in charge during sex. What do you think?

How would you feel if you played blindfolded when you went to bed?

How would you feel if Lovehoney was looking for some handcuffs and things for the bedroom?

Talking about such fantasies helps you to communicate better as a couple, and can also broaden your own thoughts on the subject, explaining your feelings, allowing them to empathise and even elaborate on your fantasy.

Be sincere

If any of you are worried about the idea of including slavery in your sex life, you should not be afraid to say so and explain why. Consider your reasons and discuss them openly with your partner.

You may also find the discussions interesting. However, like anything in a partnership, bondage is not for everyone.

"I bought the Bondage Boutique Temptation Soft Bondage Kit (2 pieces) as my first real purchase for dom and sub play! We were not disappointed. My partner saw that I had purchased this and it turned him on even before I put it on!"

You shouldn't feel bad if you're not interested in bonding when your partner is, but equally understand that your partner's desires are legitimate.

The right tools for the job

If you have decided that you would like to try out bondage, before investing in any bondage equipment it is a good idea to think about exactly what you would like to try out to make sure your purchases meet your needs.

Do you want to enhance the prelude and the play of the senses?

Do you or your partner prefer who should be tied, or do you want to take it in turns?

Do you like to be tied up, or do you want to be able to escape if you want?

These are all questions you should ask and consider before you buy.

Excitement for the first time

Once you're fired up, you can invest in your first tying equipment.

For beginners, the comfortable wrist cuffs and eye patch are ideal for the first time. The cuffs will allow you to experiment with the restraints, and the blindfold will not only add an element of sensory play - it will also reduce any butterflies you may feel when you first try the binding.

"My partner and I really enjoyed this surprise and it was the best sex we've had in a while. It opened the door for us to talk more about bondage and fantasies we had but were afraid to bring up." - Sthom

The great news is that bedroom tie-down kits usually contain these basic items and are great value, so you can experiment with different toys without investing in a lot of equipment.

Visit our Bondage for Beginners category and discover the best toys for your first bondage session.