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Have you ever wondered, “What does BDSM mean?” or maybe you wondered, “What is sadomasochism?” You’ve come to the right place.
BDSM is a general term that describes any sexual behavior that can be considered “perverted”, i.e. pain, physical restraint, and bondage.
While these things may be frowned upon in non-sexual scenarios, they form the basis of BDSM. In the world of BDSM, spanking, whipping, tying, tying, slapping, tearing—anything you want to try—can be tried. Combined with consent and safety measures, these actions provide mutual satisfaction and excitement for those involved.
So, if you want to know what BDSM really means, read our guide to BDSM and sadomasochism and reveal your perverted side.
So, if you want to know what BDSM really means, read our guide to BDSM and sadomasochism and reveal your perverted side.
What does BDSM mean?
The term BDSM can be broken down into three categories – the letters stand for six different “actions”:
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Binding and discipline
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Dominance and submission
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Sadism and masochism (although sadism and masochism are separate hobbies, they are related and are often referred to as sadomasochism).
These aspects complement each other, but they can also be enjoyed separately or in combination with each other – the choice is yours.
Now you know what each letter means, but what does bdsm mean?
Okay, let’s break everything down even more.
Binding
If you’ve ever wondered, “What is BDSM?” you probably imagine someone being tied up (thanks, Fifty Shades). Well, it’s bondage.
If we’re going to be really technical, it’s physical restraint, or the physical restraint of another person using special equipment like rope and tape.
Although it may have a distorted reputation, many people unknowingly enjoy bondage when they playfully use fur handcuffs that friends have bought them as a joke, and for many people, the experience is also pleasurable!
One of the reasons why bondage is one of the most popular BDSM activities is that it gives your partner a sense of helplessness and you a sense of mastery, and vice versa. Knowing that you can do whatever you like with your partner (within reason!), for your own pleasure or theirs, while controlling every orgasmic vibration, is incredibly satisfying.
For others, simply the feeling of being tied up, of being squeezed, and of pushing against restraints in a sexual scenario is incredibly arousing.
If you’re looking for something to help you stay present and in the moment, bondage is a great way to slow down and enjoy what your partner is doing. After all, when you’re tied up, you have no choice but to lie back and enjoy the experience.
Discipline
An act of discipline is performed when the submissive or “bottom” in a relationship needs attention to correct behavior that may be considered a violation of pre-established rules.
These rules are set before any activity begins and are agreed upon by both partners. The rules can be as easy as “you must wash up before engaging in any mischief” or as strict as “you will not have an orgasm.”
If you’ve ever enjoyed the sensation of a hard spanking on the butt or want to fulfill your school teacher fantasies, chances are you might enjoy a little discipline.
Role-playing is a great way to introduce discipline games to those new to BDSM. Why not try a scene where you give your naughty nurse a few disciplinary slaps with a paddle every time she accidentally drops her “medical equipment” on the floor?
You can take your discipline game to the next level by experimenting with physical (e.g. spanking) and psychological (e.g. humiliation or verbal slapping) punishments. Just remember to agree on a safe word with your partner in advance.
Obedience
Submission is the opposite of dominance, and obedience is the state of submission to another person.
Dominance and submission go hand in hand, with the submissive partner being required to do what the dominant asks. Otherwise, they risk being punished in any way the dominant person finds acceptable. How interesting!
In the bedroom, submissives may enjoy having control taken away from them during sex. Great ways to play with this are using a ball gag that prevents them from talking, or wrist and ankle restraints that prevent them from touching themselves or the dominant partner. This exchange of power can be very sexually satisfying and emotionally rewarding.
Like dominant men, many make a sense of submission a part of their daily lifestyle, allowing their partner to be the owner of the keys to their chastity belt or taking on the role of servant in the home.
Sadism
So, we’ve covered the first four “steps.” Now it’s time to move on to the S and M values.
Sadism is the practice of sexual gratification by inflicting pain on others. The word was once considered “dirty” because of its association with criminals and morally corrupt characters in television and film (think Kakihara in Ichigo). However, the BDSM community is reclaiming sadism and masochism and showing that it’s a good thing.
Sadists enjoy inflicting pain on their partner through physical punishment or humiliation. Sexuality is often driven by the feeling of performing such acts and the power associated with it, as well as the sight of their lover’s body turning rosy red from a good spanking!
If you want to experiment with sadism, try using toys like whips or hammers on your partner. If you want to take it even further, nipple clamps or wrenches can also be great for pain play.
Like all BDSM practices, it should always be done consensually, with the understanding that it will provide some degree of sexual pleasure to one or both parties.